
to report Missionary thought and culture base, The answer to the above-mentioned question has been provided through the center for answering religious questions.
Question: I’m upset with my brother, I’m tempted to tell my other brother what he said behind his back, but I don’t like it, what should I do?
Answer: In religious ethics, special attention has been paid to interpersonal relationships and efforts to improve and reform them, and therefore any action that causes distance between religious brothers has been condemned. Among the moral vices that disturb the life of interpersonal relationships in a faith society and cause believers to distance themselves from each other and provide grounds for hatred, misunderstanding and enmity between them, is gossip or, in the common sense, informer. Considering the importance that religious ethics attaches to personal relationships, it is necessary for all people to try to avoid falling into the trap of gossip. In order to be safe from this moral vice and its temptations, it is necessary to carry out a series of scientific and practical measures, examples of which are mentioned below.
The main text of the answer
The solutions to prevent or be safe from the temptations of speaking can be divided into two categories: scientific (cognitive-cognitive solutions) and practical (speech-behavioral treatments) and a set of methods and techniques can be provided for each. These items are mentioned below.
Ways to prevent gossip
First part: cognitive solutions
Knowledge and knowledge are one of the pillars of action and in fact one of the components that shape the moral character of a person, therefore, knowledge and knowledge play an important and vital role in order to perform correct moral behaviors and stay away from incorrect behaviors. This is also true about the vice of speaking. Knowledge about this vice in terms of prevention can be divided into different levels, some of which are mentioned below.
A: Knowledge of vice and recognition of examples and constant attention to it
It seems that in custom, less attention is paid to the vice and moral ugliness of gossiping, and maybe it can be claimed that some people do not think that gossiping is a morally ugly thing or that they do not pay attention to its ugliness when they suffer from it, because the idea of this It is that the person does not say something contrary to reality, but rather reflects a reality, and as a result, his speech cannot be ugly. As a result, one of the ways to be safe from this vice is to know its nature and its examples and to pay constant attention to its ugliness. Amir al-Mu’minin Ali, peace be upon him, said about this truth, “The worst truth is gossip.” (1)
B: Knowing the contexts and roots
In order to avoid this vice, the underlying factors and in fact its roots must be known and dried. Various backgrounds and roots are involved in a person’s speech picking, such as personality, psychological factors, and even some other vices. Jealousy of others’ wealth, grudge and enmity, trying to take revenge due to the discomfort of the person, emotional weakness and feeling of inferiority are among the underlying factors and in fact some of the roots of speech-making. One of the researchers considers the roots of this vice to be envy, worldliness, hypocrisy, harassment, and revenge and says: “so that the cause of envy, worldliness, hypocrisy, harassment, and revenge, which are the main factors of the evil phenomenon of gossip and gossip, do not disappear, this Moral vice cannot be removed from human existence. It may be limited or negative for a while with strong will and decisions, but it will show itself at times.” (2)
A: Knowledge of consequences and works
The more accurate and deeper a person’s knowledge and understanding of the effects and consequences of speaking becomes, the more and better the grounds for him to be protected from this vice will be provided. We can gain knowledge about the consequences of this vice at two levels. Including worldly consequences and hereafter consequences. Here are some of the consequences:
1. The worldly consequences of speaking:
Among the negative effects of the vice of speaking is that it affects the relationships of believers and consequently the community of faith and replaces hatred and enmity with love, friendship and kindness. In some traditions, examples of the worldly consequences of speaking have been mentioned:
A: Creating seeds of hatred and enmity
Backbiting makes people feel negative towards each other and causes enmity and distance between them. It is obvious that creating enmity and hatred among believers is among the desires of Satan. Amir al-Mu’minin, peace be upon him, said about this consequence: “Avoid words that sow the seeds of hatred and turn away from God and people.” (3)
B: An example of lying, cruelty and tyranny
Slander has been considered as an example of lying, cruelty and tyranny. Obviously, each of these moral vices threatens the bioethics of the society. In a tradition, it is stated that “a person who gossips is a liar to the person who gossips to him, and he is cruel and oppressive to the one who gossips about him.” (4)
A: Separation between friends and finding fault with the pure
About this consequence, it is mentioned in a narration: “Those who go back and forth with words, divide between friends and look for blame for innocent and pure people.” (5)
D: Preventing prayer from being answered
In a historical narration, it is stated that the Israelites suffered a famine. Hazrat Musa, peace be upon him, asked Almighty God for rain; But God Almighty did not answer his request. God revealed to Musa that there is a talker among you who will not answer you until he insists on his talk. Moses asked God to introduce Sokhchin to him. God said: I forbid you to choose words; How do I arrange my own speech? (6)
2. The afterlife consequences of speaking
In narrative sources, significant negative consequences for this vice have been stated, such as:
A: Deprivation of paradise
In a narration, gossipers are mentioned as the worst people and deprived of heaven. (7) Imam Baqir (peace be upon him) also said: “Paradise is forbidden to liars who go to gossip” (8).
B: The person’s character is out of religion
Hazrat Ali, peace be upon him, says, “Speech is a characteristic of a person that has gone out of religion.” (9)
A: Causing the torment of the grave
The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Whoever moves to negotiate between two people, God will control his grave with a fire that will burn him until the Day of Judgment, and when he comes out of his grave, God will control him with a black snake that will devour his flesh until he enters the fire.” it stings” (10)
Second part: practical care (verbal-behavioral)
In order to be safe from the evil eye, in addition to strengthening cognitive elements and components, some care must be taken in terms of action and behavior. Behavioral care can be divided into two types, positive and negative. On a positive level, it is desired to carry out and strengthen the positive elements of personality and background that rule out the conditions of being caught in this vice, and on a negative level, negative exposure and abstinence when dealing with favorable contexts of speech is considered. Some of the fans related to these two levels are mentioned below.
A: Strengthening personality components
Strengthening the elements and components of personality such as self-confidence and self-belief and strengthening the sense of self-esteem and self-dignity as well as strengthening the spirit of respect for others and facing others with dignity and respect can protect a person from being caught in the vice of informer.
B: Strengthening the culture of frank dialogue, combined with respect
One of the underlying factors in gossiping or in confirming and listening to the gossiper’s words is where the person is upset with the other person. Therefore, in order to solve this issue, it is necessary to strengthen the culture of frankness combined with respect and politeness in the case of discomfort and annoyance from others in the individual as well as in the society. Instead of gossiping behind the person’s back, respectfully, directly or through someone else, share the annoyance with the person. Obviously, in addition to removing many ambiguities, this work also removes the grounds for removing misunderstandings and malice, and can protect against gossip.
C: Defense and justification of behavior
What is used in the hadiths is that it has been recommended to try to prepare an excuse for their behavior when faced with the wrong words and deeds of the faith brothers. As a result, it can be said that when faced with verbal abuse, it is better to defend the person who is being verbally abused and find a way to justify the mentioned behavior. It is said in a tradition, “Look for an excuse for your brother’s words and actions, and if you don’t find one, make an excuse.” (11) Also, Amir al-Mu’minin Ali, peace be upon him, said, “Interpret your brother’s behavior in the best way until something is done to him.” Let him block the way of justification for you and never suspect anything that comes out of your brother’s mouth until you find a good justification for it. Mabar.” (12)
D: Negation of speech and non-repetition
In some hadiths, it is recommended that when faced with a gossip, his news and statement should be denied. Hazrat Ali, peace be upon him, has said, “Consider speech and gossip as a lie, whether it is false or true.” (13) This narration can also be a reference to the fact that gossip should not be influenced, repeated, or published.
E: No denying my name and changing the topic of discussion
Another way that can help from getting caught in gossip is to stop someone from gossiping, don’t accompany him or change the topic of the discussion.
the result
In order to be safe from verbal abuse, it is necessary to strengthen cognitive and cognitive elements along with practical care. Paying attention to the moral ugliness of speaking, knowing its grounds and roots such as feelings of inferiority, revenge and malice, as well as knowledge of its worldly and afterlife effects and consequences, such as the fact that it causes malice and enmity and prevents prayer from being answered and deprivation from heaven, are among the most important cognitive measures. is In terms of behavior and action, strengthening character elements such as self-respect and self-confidence, frank conversation with politeness and respect when others are upset, respectfully rejecting the gossiper, not accompanying him, refraining from denying the gossiper and defending the person who is gossiped about. It is one of the most important practical measures.
Resources for further study
1. Tehrani, Mojtabi, fault-finding and speech-picking, Tehran, Masabih Al-Hadi, 2018.
2. Hosseini, Seyyed Morteza, Secrecy and Sohnchini (digital version), Isfahan, Ghaemieh Computer Research Center, Isfahan, 2019.
3. Moradinia, Mohammad, Sokhnchini, Tehran, Ziba, 2007.
Footnotes
1. “The best of charity”. Laithi Wasti, Ali Bin Mohammad, Ayoun Al-Hakm and Al-Mo’az, research: Hossein Hosni Birjandi, Qom, Dar al-Hadith, 1376, p. 114.
2. Makarem Shirazi, Nasser, Ethic in the Qur’an, Qom, Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib School Publications, 2005, vol. 3, p. 311.
3. “Iyakka and al-Namimah; For they are the sowing of evil and alienation from God and people. Tamimi Amadi, Abdul Wahid bin Muhammad, Gharral al-Hakm and Derr al-Kalam, research and correction: Seyyed Mahdi Rajaee, Qom, Dar al-Kitab al-Islami, second edition, 1420 AH, p. 167.
4. “Al-Saa’i is a liar, he is a tyrant, he is a tyrant.” Khawansari, Mohammad bin Hossein, Agha Jamal Khawansari’s Commentary on Gharral al-Hukam and Darr al-Kalam, Tehran, 4th edition, 1366, vol. 2, p. 59.
5. “Unless your prophets and your enemies say yes, O Messenger of God, the pedestrians are the ones who divide between the lovers and the lovers.” For the sake of defects”. Kilini, Muhammad bin Yaqub, Al-Kafi, Mohaghegh: Ghafari, Tehran, Dar al-Kitab al-Islamiya, 1407 AH, vol. 2, p. 369.
6. “It was narrated that Moses, peace be upon him, watered the children of Israel when they were afflicted with diarrhea, and God revealed to him that he would not answer. But there is no reason with you, and in you there is no sleep. Ameli, Zain al-Din bin Ali, Kashf al-Riba, Tehran, Dar al-Mortazavi Publishing House, third edition, 139 AH, vol. 2, pp. 42-43.
7. “Unless your prophets and your enemies say yes, O Messenger of God, the pedestrians are the ones who separate between the lovers.” Kilini, Muhammad bin Yaqub, al-Kafi, researcher: Ghafari, Tehran, Dar al-Kitab al-Islamiya, 1407 AH, vol. 2, p. 369.
8. “Al-Jannah is forbidden to those who walk in it.” Kilini, Muhammad bin Yaqub, Al-Kafi, Mohaghegh: Ghafari, Tehran, Dar al-Kitab al-Islamiya, 1407 AH, vol. 2, p. 369.
9. “Al-Namimah Shima Al-Mariq”. Tamimi Amadi, Abdul Wahid bin Muhammad, Gharral al-Hakm and Derr al-Kalam, research and correction: Seyyed Mahdi Rajaee, Qom, Dar al-Kitab al-Islami, second edition, 1420 AH, p. 51.
10. “And whoever walks in the space between the two, the power of God is upon him in the grave of fire, he will be burned until the Day of Resurrection, and if he comes out of the grave, the power of God On top of it, the devil is black, and his flesh is gnawing until it enters the fire. Sheikh Har Amili, Vasal al-Shia, Tehran, Dar al-Kitab al-Islamiya, 1364, vol. 8, p. 618.
11. “Ask for the final prayer, so if you do not find it, ask for it.” Sadouq, Muhammad bin Ali bin Baboyeh, Al-Khasal, research and correction: Ali Akbar Ghafari, Qom, Jamia Modaresin Hozha, 1362, vol. 2, p. 622.
12. “Place the order of Akhik Ali’s good deeds, even if you come from me, he will overcome you, and don’t think that with his words, you will go out of Akhik Sowa, and you will find them for good.” Ibn Baboyeh, Muhammad bin Ali (Sheikh Sadouq), Al-Mali, 5th edition, Research: Hossein Al-Alami, Beirut, Al-Aalami Institute, 1376, p. 304.
13. “The falsehood of al-Sa’iyyah and al-Namimah, false or true.” Tamimi Amadi, Abdul Wahid bin Muhammad, Gharral al-Hakm and Darr al-Kalam, research and correction: Seyyed Mehdi Rajaee, Qom, Dar al-Kitab al-Islami, 1420 AH, p. 146.
منبع: www.khabaronline.ir